7 Tips For Planning a Stress Free Wedding Day, from a Wedding Photographer
One of the questions I'm asked most often as a Hudson Valley wedding photographer is, "What's the secret to having a stress-free wedding day?"
After photographing more than 400 weddings over the past 15 years, I've learned that the answer usually isn't found in having the perfect timeline or spending more money. It's found in the intentional choices couples make long before the wedding day ever arrives.
I've photographed everything from elopements in the mountains to micro weddings in 17th century forts in Portugal to luxury celebrations with hundreds of guests, and regardless of the size of the wedding, the happiest couples almost always have a few things in common.
If you're currently planning your wedding, I hope these tips help you create a day that feels joyful, unrushed, and true to the two of you.
Check out these additional educational resources :
Best Wedding Venues of the Hudson Valley - According to a Wedding Photographer
How to Plan an Intimate Hudson Valley Wedding or Elopement
The Ultimate Guide: 19 Questions to Ask Your Wedding Photographer Before You Book
Image from Karley + Joe’s spring wedding at The Roundhouse in Beacon, NY.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #1 - THE VENUE - Everything takes place in one location.
When you don’t have to travel anywhere on your wedding day, trust me when I tell you that it makes everything run so much smoother! When it comes to…
Getting Ready
Portraits
Ceremony
Cocktail Hour + Reception
Bonus if it has accommodations for you to stay in the night before and the night of. (Extra bonus if accommodations are available for guests.)
Hudson Valley Wedding Venues with Lodging (in no particular order)
Foxfire Mountain House, The Roundhouse, The Garrison, Gather Greene, Hasbrouck House, Audrey’s Farmhouse, The Arnold House, Mohonk Mountain House, Valley Rock Inn, Hutton Brickyards , Wildflower Farms, The Waterwheel, Cedar Lakes Estate, AutoCamp Catskills, Full Moon Resort, Glenmere Mansion, Buttermilk Falls Inn + Spa, Deer Mountain Inn, Troutbeck, Lambs Hill (micro weddings only)
Full planner hired for this magical farm and inn wedding in the Hudson Valley.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #2 - HIRE A PLANNER + HAVE A PLAN/TIMELINE
This may be a “duh” for most, but it’s important for me to mention! Wedding planners are LITERALLY professional wedding planners. They know the secret sauce, they know the who/where/when to make things happen as smoothly and magically as possible.
Bonus tip : “Have a clear budget laid out FROM THE START and know your priorities” - Lauren Fitzmaurice of Wild Blooms Bridal
Hudson Valley Wedding Planners I highly recommend (in no particular order) : Canvas Weddings, Magdalena Events, Wild Blooms, Gina Maloney Events, Emily Boziwick Events, Amy Champagne Events, etc
Here is an example of a typical photography specific timeline 8 hours of coverage…
1:00 PM Photographers arrive to document getting ready
2:00 PM FIRST LOOK
2:15 PM Portraits of Wedding Couple
3:00 PM Wedding Party Photos (if you have one, see tip #3)
3:30 PM Family Photos
4:30 PM Conclude Pre-Ceremony Photos and hide away the couple (then photograph ceremony details before guests arrive)
5:00 PM Ceremony
5:30 PM Cocktail Hour
6:00 PM Reception
6:15 PM Intros + First Dance (I recommend you do parent dances earlier in the evening, and toasts during the first course/dinner.)
8:45 PM Cake Cutting
9:00 PM Photographers Depart (conclusion of 8 hours)
Getting ready without wedding party.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #3 - FOREGO THE WEDDING PARTY (or keep it very small)
You can still do any or none of the pre-wedding celebrations, there just doesn’t need to be an official wedding party. It adds in the stress of picking dresses/suits/clothing, bouquets for those who “need” them, providing hair + make up, etc. Which leads to my next point…the chaos of the wedding morning. Your friends can still be there, but you don’t have to be responsible for their getting ready process. (Let’s be real… the amount of bridesmaids I have witnessed complaining about their dresses/hair/make up is not something people should have to worry about on their wedding day! Also let’s stop buying wedding specific clothing/pajamas that will end up in a landfill eventually.
Not having a wedding party does not mean you cannot have photos with your friends! You can still set aside time for them, or let them happen organically throughout your wedding day.
Kayla + Matt’s emotional first look at Le Chateau.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #4 - DO A FIRST LOOK
I know I know… you want to see them cry when you walk down the aisle. I am going to hold your hand when I say this…I have seen MORE people cry while someone has walked down the aisle when they had a first look and had ALREADY seen each other. It’s a truth people do not want to believe or hear… but it is a fact. The energy and intensity of the situation is completely different between a first look and your actual wedding ceremony. Seeing each other beforehand, I think, allows your partner to relax into their emotions.
More fun facts about doing a first look…
You can fully enjoy cocktail hour before you’ve done all your formal photographs. (This also allows your photographer to have time to capture more candids throughout the rest of the day!)
Less anxiety before your ceremony.
You get to spend more time with your partner on your WEDDING DAY. I don’t know about anyone else… but my husband was the person I wanted to be around the most the whole day. (We even got ready just a room away from one another and he visited me frequently while my hair + make up was being done… now I know that’s extreme and not for everyone, but it was fun for us!)
Bonus Tip : Limit the amount of forced moments to ask your photographer to create. Doing first looks with EVERYONE can become very stressful and chaotic. Example - first looks with your wedding party, your parents, your friends, etc etc. Let it be documented organically.
A hike and some bare feet for this adventurous couple in the Shawangunk Mountains.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #5 - BE AWARE OF YOUR MIND, BODY, and WARDROBE
Wear shoes that don’t kill your feet!!!!!
I cannot emphasize this enough. And the amount of poor souls I have seen say “pain is beauty” when wearing heels that are killing them, breaks my heart. Foot pain limits your mobility and will make everything feel unpleasant.
Make sure your wedding attire fits properly. (Including with your undergarments!) Try your entire wedding ensemble on prior to your wedding, from underwear to shoes, etc. If you are getting your dress altered, usually your seamstress will have you do this at their location so THEY can make sure everything is just right, and make adjustments if needed. I have seen far too many ladies struggle with a bra that shows or doesn’t fit right with their wedding dress, because they didn’t try it on with the dress beforehand.
(Bonus tip - have someone go with you to your final fittings, so the seamstress can show them how to help you put on your dress AND bustle it! Extra bonus tip - take a video of the bustling process, because people can and will forget!)
Make sure to eat and drink plenty of water! If you hire a planner, they are usually making sure you are doing this.
Golden hour embracing for this lovely couple on their winter wedding day.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #6 - Keep your guest list TIGHT.
Trust me on this.
An easy rule of thumb…if you’ve never met them, there really is no need to Invite them.
Bonus Tip : Keep your wedding CHILD FREE!
This can be a touchy subject, but I will double down on it. (Unless they are your own children, or nieces/nephews (OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER), keep the kids home.). Kids can add an unpredictability to the day, create noise during your ceremony, and cause their parents to be in parent mode rather than celebration mode. I also happen to believe kids do not belong in environments where heavy alcohol consumption is taking place.
This insane tree at Arrow Park in Monroe, NY.
Stress-Free Wedding Day Tip #7 - TRUST YOUR VENDORS
Make sure to do your research and hire vendors who are experienced and trustworthy. Your planner can help you choose vendors that they have worked with before and they trust. Asking other vendors who they recommend, can also be super helpful! As a photographer I get asked for hair + make up and videographer recommendations regularly, and I LOVE referring my couples to people who I know are going to do an amazing job.
When you hire vendors who do their jobs exceptionally, the wedding planning process and the actual day go smooth and as stress free as possible. From communication, to planning, to executing the wedding day, the right vendors can make everything better.
